Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Hobbit Elevenses Bangers & Mash

Oh how I love the Hobbit food schedule. So much time in the day to just sit back, relax, and EAT! What better way to spend your time!? So, without further ado I will present this next recipe so you can get to eating in time before the next hour!

Elevenses Bangers & Mash

Time: 50 Minutes
Level: n00b
Serves: 6 Hungry Hobbits


For Bangers:
1 tablespoon olive oil
6 plump sausages (Be it pork, turkey, chicken, Irish, English, etc)
24 ounces of your favorite ALE like Guinness (if not 21, use chicken stock)
Yellow onion diced

For Mash:
2 pounds Yukon Gold potatoes - Peeled and Diced
1 white onion diced
2 cloves garlic minced (or 2 teaspoons pre-minced)
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
4 tablespoons butter cut in cubes
1/2 cup heavy cream
Salt & Pepper to taste
1 jar of brown gravy


Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil over medium-high heat in a saute pan with a lid. 
Sear sausage on all sides. 
Add beer and onion to pan
Turn heat down to low and simmer until sausage is cooked through, about 50 minutes.


Boil potatoes and onion until potatoes are tender and strain. 
Return to pot and stir in cheese, butter, garlic, and heavy cream.
Mash and keep warm.

Heat brown gravy in saucepan or microwave.

Place mash on plate first, pour a small amount of gravy over them
Top with bangers (sausage)
Drizzle with guinness liquid.

Enjoy with some afternoon tea!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Walking Dead - BBQ Brain Spaghetti

Halloween is just around the corner, along with another season of The Walking Dead.  Yes the show is  GREAT but if you are anything like me, you love the comics even more.  

I wont get into details on how I wish they stuck closer to the graphic novel -- point is, this brain like recipe will get you even more in the mood for some "walkers".

The Goods:

  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 small green bell pepper, chopped
  • 1/2 yellow onion, finely chopped
  • 1 tablespoon garlic salt
  • 3 1/2 cups BBQ sauce of choice
  • 1 to 2 pounds cooked pork
  • 1 pound spaghetti


                   In a large skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat. 

Saute the pepper and onion until softened, 1 to 2 minutes. 

Stir in the garlic salt. 

Add the BBQ sauce and bring to a boil. 

Reduce the heat to a low simmer and add the chopped meat.

Meanwhile, fill a large pot with water and bring to boil. 
Season liberally with salt and add spaghetti. 
Cook until al dente (firm but not hard), about 7 minutes, and drain. 
Toss spaghetti with sauce.

Enjoy getting dirty like a zombie! MMMmmMm!

**I don't own the rights to any WALKING DEAD IMAGES - photos shown as inspiration**

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Max Payne inspired Bacon Jelly Donuts

Max Payne, a Cop framed for the murder of his family... terribly sad I know.

Since Payne is a cop, what better to make some donuts for the pig. Add some bacon (everything is better with it anyway) and some jelly for all the blood shed. 

This is an easy and sweet recipe with a hint of the savory bacon. 

Time: 40 minutes
Serving size: 40 donuts

The Goods:

  • 3 eggs, beaten
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • canola oil
  • 10 slices white bread
  • strawberry (or any flavor) jam
  • confectioners' sugar
  • 2 packages bacon


In  frying pan cook all of the bacon to your desired done-ness

Remove cooked bacon from pan onto a plate with paper towel to soak up excess grease.

Move bacon to a cutting board and chop into small pieces. Set aside.
Take the white bread, & make sandwiches with the bread, spreading jam evenly in the center and sprinkling desired amount of bacon over jam.

Trim away crusts, and cut each sandwich into quarters, wiping away any excess jam.

In a bowl, stir together eggs, milk, vanilla, and sugar until well blended and sugar is 
In a separate bowl, mix flour with baking powder and salt. Gradually stir flour mixture into egg mixture until no lumps remain. Set aside

Bring out dutch oven, pour 3 1/2 inches canola oil in and heat up.

Dip each sandwich quarter into batter, coating completely.

Working in batches to avoid overcrowding, fry sandwiches for 1 to 3 minutes, or until puffy and golden brown. 

Drain and cool on a paper towel-lined wire rack. Sprinkle with powdered sugar. 

Serve warm.

Enjoy and get justice! 

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

T.M.Ninja Turtle: Pepperoni & Cheeeese Pizza!

Cowabunga dude!

Get your grub on with the cheesiest of pepperoni & cheese pizzas!

Super easy and suuuper delicious.

I'm going to stop now before I make a further fool of myself.

Level: NOOB
Time: 15 Minutes
Serves: Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael, You,  &Your friends.

The Goods:

  • Pre-cooked pizza dough (like Boboli)
  • 1 Package pre sliced pepperoni
  • 2 teaspoons olive oil 
  • 2 cloves (or 2 teaspoons) Garlic, minced
  • 2 cups (8 ounces) Mozzerella Cheese
  • Tomato Sauce of your choice
  • 2 cups (8 ounces) Monterey Jack Cheese
  • 1/2 cup (2 ounces) grated fresh Parmesan cheese

  1. Position one oven rack in the middle setting. 
  2. Position another rack in the lowest setting, and place a  baking sheet on the bottom rack.
  3. Preheat oven to 500° fahrenheit. (260 degrees celsius) 
  4. Remove plastic wrap from Basic Pizza Dough; discard plastic. 
  5. Brush olive oil over dough. 
  6. Spoon sauce in an even layer over crust, leaving a 1/4-inch border. 
  7. Sprinkle minced garlic over sauce.
  8. Top with mozzarella, Monterey Jack, Parmesan Cheese, and Pepperoni
  9. Bake on middle rack for 10 minutes or until crust is golden brown and cheese melts. 
  10. Cut into 12 slices.
  11. Enjoy Dudes!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Assassins Cr-isto

One of my most favorite sandwiches in the WORLD is a Monte Cristo sandwich. Those of you who have never tried it are probably wondering WTF it is. If you are a fan of sweet and salty this is your dream! It is kind of like a ham and cheese sandwich, stuffed between french toast. Served with a side of jelly or syrup (Maple, strawberry, etc) for dipping. If you think it sounds gross try it before you diss it aight? What does this have to do with Assassins Creed? Well Monte Cristo is an island in Italy. 
So enjoy!

Level: Noob
Time: 30 Minutes
Serves: 2

The Goods:

-1 large egg
-1/3 cup whole milk
-Kosher salt
-Freshly ground black pepper
-4 (1/2-inch-thick) slices white sandwich bread
-2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
-7 slices of thinly sliced ham
-7 slices of thinly sliced roasted turkey breast
-5 slices of thinly sliced Swiss cheese
-2 tablespoons unsalted butter (1/4 stick)
-Powdered sugar, for dusting
-Jelly or Syrup for dipping 


 Place the egg and milk in a bowl, and season with salt and pepper.

 Whisk until the egg is broken up and evenly incorporated; set aside.

 Place 2 slices of the bread on a work surface and spread 1 teaspoon of mustard on each. 

 Divide the ham and turkey between the mustard-coated bread slices.

 Place half of the cheese on top of each pile of meat. 

 Close the sandwiches with the remaining 2 slices of bread. 

 Press gently on the tops of the sandwiches to compact slightly.

 Melt the butter in a large nonstick frying pan over medium-low heat until foaming.
 Using your hands, place 1 sandwich in the reserved egg mixture, flipping to coat both sides.
 Place the sandwich in the frying pan. Repeat with the second sandwich.

 Fry undisturbed until the bottoms of the sandwiches are golden brown, about 4 to 5 minutes.
 Flip and fry until the other side is golden brown and the cheese is melted, about 4 to 5 minutes more.

Transfer to serving plates, dust with powdered sugar, and serve with your jelly or favorite syrup!